28 September 2005

BREAKING NEWS: Fugitive Apprehended!!

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS
Barbie® Jail Fugitive Apprehended!!

In a swift and inspiring midnight SWAT® operation, authorities have apprehended the notorious escapee from the maximum security Barbie® Penitentiary who has become widely known in the press as the "Babyface Barbie®". This ruthless criminal is now behind bars.


Police Photo: still wearing Barbie® Pink, but no longer a threat to the public.

Family sources have revealed that photos taken during the fugitive's recent lewd binge at house of ill-repute led directly to her capture.


Action Photo: here we see the unrepentent and obviously kerschnickered escapee enjoying a sordid afternoon of beer guzzling and watching sports on TV, or possibly Bollywood movies. Note the trademark Barbie® Pink romper.

Detectives had previously believed the fugitive's beverage of choice to be that concotion traded under the psuedonym "MamaBoob®", best known for the attractiveness of the containers in which it is distributed. However, we learn from these Action Photos that the fugitive seems to prefer Fat Tire Amber Ale.


Action Photo: here the dangerous fugitive can be seen vulgarly abusing the staff, apparently demanding more Fat Tire.

Sources have also confirmed that it was the renegade's abuse of the staff during this booze up -- screaming, squealing and shameless flirtation -- that made them suspicious. Fortunately, they had observed the felon's fondness for Barbie® Pink, and they had the quick wit to Google "Most Wanted Barbie® Baby". That query found the posting on this site, and they quickly alerted the appropriate authorities who bravely apprehended this callous convict.

Thanks to the brave actions of a few, the public may again sleep peacefully with the knowledge that the only people being kept awake by this delinquent are her parents.

16 September 2005

Series: Trinhity's Zoo

We went to the Zoo today. It's the first time we've been to the Zoo. I liked it.


First we went to the petting zoo and found this sweet little lamb... Posted by Picasa


I really liked the sweet little lamb... Posted by Picasa


I really, reall--well, OK, let's be honest: Daddy loves the pictures of me and the sweet little lamb. Posted by Picasa


There was also a funny bunny rabbit at the petting zoo... Posted by Picasa

I liked the bunny rabbit a lot, too...Posted by Picasa


No, seriously -- it was a real bunny rabbit! Posted by Picasa


OK, OK...so Daddy & I both liked the bunny -- but this time it's Mommy who just can't get enough of the bunny rabbit pictures...Posted by Picasa


Do you really think I'd go to a zoo without seeing the fishies?!? Posted by Picasa


There was also a bear. It was a little baby girl bear. She was very ferocious. But she was asleep.Posted by Picasa


They're really plants, not animals -- but never mind, just check out my cool shoes!! Posted by Picasa


We didn't get to pet the leopards. Daddy said that's because the leopard with the roses and the velvet and the diamond broach that Mommy bought for me was fake. What does the word 'gauche' mean? Posted by Picasa


Finally, we saw the birdies! This is me with my own personal flamingo friend. I thought she would teach me flamenco, but no, just the hula...Posted by Picasa


...which is good, since the hula goes better with Daddy's goofy shirt! That's all! But we'll go back to the Zoo soon, don't worry! Posted by Picasa

12 September 2005

WANTED: Barbie Jail Fugitive

Have you seen this fugitive?

As will be obvious to alert readers from her clothing, this baby has escaped from the infamous Barbie® Penitentiary. She is wanted in connection with multiple counts of soiled diapers, conspiracy to extort snuggles, distribution of drool, and necessitating endless laundering.



Frontal & Profile Views: photographs taken in September, 2005; photos may have been altered, as the suspect usually looks thinner and quite innocent in real life.

  • Date of Birth: 5th June 2005
  • Hair: dark brown / light black, sparse; slightly receding hairline
  • Place of Birth: Houston, Texas, USA
  • Eyes: gunmetal grey / steel blue
  • Complexion: yellow or white depending on the light
  • Scars & Marks: slight indentation in upper ridge of left ear
  • Height: roughly 24 inches (fugitive may have grown since last sighting)
  • Weight: roughly 14 pounds, but strong for her size
  • Sex: female
  • Build: tall for her age, but has put on weight rapidly in recent weeks
  • Race: mixed ethnicity, parents of dubious origin
  • Occupation: future rocket scientist (or cheerleader)
  • Nationality: USA

REMARKS

Last seen in Barbie® pink-striped prison apparel, replete with Barbie® pink-striped socks -- see action photo below. Trinhity Xuan Clark is considered a career catnapper, a compulsive wearer of leopard print and Barbie® pink clothing, and a master drooler specializing in the vile maneuver known within the industry as the 'raspberry kiss'.


She is an avowed lover of bright colors, including the art of Dr. Seuss.
She is known to appreciate the cello partitas and sonatas of JS Bach, and the works of Shakira, Beyonce, Eminem and Lyle Lovett, in addition to Vietnamese Karaoke. Suspect may become bi-lingual in the near future.



Action Shots: Photographs taken as the fugitive went AWOL in September, 2005

Aliases: Trinh, Trinh-a-ling, Monkey, Lugnut, Con Gai, Ch Hai, Beloved Daughter

CAUTION

Trinhity Xuan Clark is being sought for her role in a devious jail break from the high security Barbie® facility in possession of a stash of diapers (see photo below). Several stuffed animals and one inflatable duckie were seriously injured in this brazen escape; the suspect showed no mercy to them, despite desperate squeaking noises from the duckie, quoted in the aftermath as saying, "I don't know what happened. One minute I was minding my own business, the next she was choking me mercilessly, then tossed me aside. Then everything went dark. Very dark. It was terrible. Terrible!!!"




Reference Photo: Trinhity Xuan Clark shown greedily clutching a stash of diapers similar to the booty taken in the breakout. Photograph taken in early September, 2005.

CONSIDERED ARMED, LEGGED, CAPABLE OF COPIOUS DROOL AND DANGEROUS EXCRETIONS. APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION.


REWARD

Barbie® Penitentiary is offering a substantial reward for information leading directly to the return of Trinhity Xuan Clark. Please respond to this posting if you have such information. Thank you.


01 September 2005

Chi Rachel + Trinh

Brian's brother, Scott came down this past weekend with his wife Tina, and their youngest, Rachel. We had a GREAT time with 'em...never left the house. And from the number of pictures we have of Rachel holding the baby, it seems that she never put Trinh down!

I wasn't going to post ALL of these...but they're all just sooo cute. Couldn't help it. So deal.


Aw... Posted by Picasa


Aww... Posted by Picasa


Awww... Posted by Picasa


Awwww.... Posted by Picasa


Awwwww..... Posted by Picasa


Awwwwww..... Posted by Picasa


Doesn't this just look like a Gap ad? Posted by Picasa

Fashion Show #1

So between Scott & Tina & Jeff & Trevor & Rachel, Trinh will be about the hippest kid not only in the neighborhood, but also on the slopes. They've hooked her up not only with this slick jean jacket...

James Dean Lives! Posted by Picasa

But also with this exceedingly asubular 'boarding hat...

James Dean went snowboarding? Posted by Picasa