07 November 2008

God Bless the Mama-san

God bless the Mama-san. But by heaven, I do declare that she's hereby banned from operating large electrical household devices.

It's been a rough week here. All four of us are down with varying degrees of a cold / flu bug, replete with nasty coughs, runny noses, aches and pains, sore throats, and Daddy almost got laryngitis when he really, really needed his voice to deliver a couple of demonstrations at work.

Mama's had the worst of it. See, she's not sleeping much. And when the Mama don't sleep, ain't nuthin' right in our household. But we've seen a couple new twists this week.

For instance, just today, she wore her pants backwards for, oh, about 6.5 hours.

But last night took the cake. Somewhere just shy of midnight, Daddy went to swap the laundry from the washer into the dryer. About a third the way down, it was clear that something had gotten loose in the wash. It wasn't clear what. About a third up from the bottom, he found it: a diaper.

Perhaps you aren't intimately in touch with modern diaper science. Let us illustrate this: you know those silica desiccant packages you get with your shoes? The ones that say, "Danger! DO NOT CONSUME!"

When it gets wet, each of those silica pellets absorbs a considerable amount of water. Imagine an enormous number of them stuffed into a flexible fabric-esque wrapper girded with velcro.

Now imagine what happens when you accidentally leave one in the wash. The diaper....er, grows. It gets enormous. And somewhere in the spin cycle, it might rupture.

[all together now] "Ewwwwwww......"

Yes, that's right. I spent about 30 minutes in the middle of the night trying valiantly to shake those sticky little gelantinous particles off our beloved children's clothes. Then clean them out of the washer. Then flush the washer to make sure they were gone. Then re-wash the load and pray pray pray that the washer plumbing wasn't somehow backed up or something would stain.

I'm pleased to report success. I'm also pleased to report that the news was broken to the Mama-san at a point in her day where it evoked laughter and a sardonic sense of resignation rather than just tears and misery.

But that doesn't change the new laws around our house: until she gets more sleep, the Mama-san is not to operate any large appliances without supervision.

Poor Mama-san....

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