little brother's head with a toy. It was an accident that should have
been avoided, and I fussed at her about doing something dangerous. She
went overboard with the self-flaggelation, sobbing about how she's a
terrible big sister and the like.
Awhile later after she'd calmed down, we were talking about how
sometimes she takes too much blame for things that aren't her fault.
Out of the blue she says, "Yes, Daddy. You have that problem with
Mommy, and I have that problem with Tai Tai. We both need to work on
The child is FOUR. Well, almost five. But I didn't have that clarity
until my mid-30s, and I'm still struggling with it. Good LORD.
Later she told me that my nose was getting longer when I tried to
defend myself about a similarly deep psychological topic. She's SO her
mother's daughter in some ways.